We'll go to the doctor when we feel flu-ish or a nagging pain. So why don’t we see a health professional when we feel emotional pain: guilt, loss, loneliness? Too many of us deal with common psychological-health issues on our own, says Guy Winch. But we don’t have to. He makes a compelling case to practice emotional hygiene — taking care of our emotions, our minds, with the same diligence we take care of our bodies.
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An important thing to point out is not to take on distractions to avoid feeling bad, but instead take on more long-lasting important goals to concentrate on. A distraction is temporary and short-lived. A goal is long-lasting and psychologically healthy.
THIS is SO powerful!!!!
“LONELINESS: Creates a deep physiological wound, one which distorts our perceptions and scrambles our thinking. It makes us believe that those around us care much less than they actually do. It makes us really afraid to reach out; why set yourself up for rejection and heartache, when your heart is already aching more than you can stand” ….
“LONELINESS is defined purely subjectively; it depends solely on whether you feel emotionally or socially disconnected from those around you.”
I've been feeling deep despair and loneliness lately - often sneaking up on me out of nowhere- and this talk really resonated with me. I want to find other talks he's done or perhaps books he's published.
I have bin on many med's, they just ate my mind. This sounds just right. Loneliness makes your system weaker and slowly in time eats your positive energy up👍.
How can you fix loneliness in a happy relationship?
I had never failed an exam until two years ago where I took an advanced math course. When I went to the exam I was so sure of myself to pass that course and start University afterwards. Instead I failed the course which I had never tried before. Somehow it shattered something inside of me. I passed the course later on, and I got into my dream university. However because of that experience I still have a lot of anxiety whenever I go to exams, and I have little to no self-esteem or any sense of self-worth because of that.
Ruminating is what I’m doing right now. I can’t stop hearing all the negative stuff I heard in a recent disagreement with a loved one. It’s overwhelming and causing me anxiety. I keep thinking bad stuff about myself. I want to be better. This video is much needed and I’m on my way to getting better. Thank u.
Thank you Guy Winch. You just saved me so much loneliness, rumination, failures and rejection. I wish you was in my city so i can consult with you when all this time i was going through this. As of now i will take heart with your videos. Keep it coming. Thank you again!
Wow, this was such a powerful video for me. It is so true that our society doesn't value emotional wellbeing as much as physical wellbeing. I am a very emotional person but it wasn't until recently that I have started to heal the emotional wounds of the past and present. This video made so many great points and he is an amazing storyteller!
An honest, brilliant, and beautifully delivered talk about the most important health maintenance people can practice. Once Guy points out the problem, you wonder why this isn't common knowledge like washing your hands or not smoking cigarettes. I will be listening to his words again and again in the coming months--as many times as it takes to sink in--and I will share this with as many people as I can. This isn't another flaky internet meme (it's TED, after all), and I think most will find it rather easy to start fixing things, right away. I was moved at Guy's willingness to share so much personal information--that made me trust him--and he brought just enough humor into his talk to offset the sadness. One of the best things I have listened to on the internet in twenty years.
I love this video and this speaker but I have one question about the statistics on loneliness and disease... do the people doing the studies take into account the habits of lonely people? For example, maybe loneliness causes a sedentary lifestyle, bing drinking, and poor dietary choices which, in turn, lead to high cholesterol and increased risk of cardiovascular disease.
Correlation doesn’t always equate to causation, so I truly hope someone has taken this into account.
this video literaly is my motivation to start psychogy college. I have a big best tomorrow (kind of an SAT), hopefully I'll get it. i lost count of how many times i watched this over the year, everytime i was feeling down or doubting myself i've come here
I think I have finally , after a decade of struggle, found the problem within me and it's solution too. I remember I felt alone all the time as a kid, but that feeling, somehow got manipulated as I grew up. I no more felt alone, I was depressed. I felt rejected, abandoned and left apart. I never really understood the reason behind it, but today, I'm sorted. I have figured out the problem, which, I believe is the first step towards finding a solution..😊
I was heading in a negative spot. Thinking and feeling all 3 emotions. Rejection,loneliness, and failure. This video made me look at things in a different way. So much that I got goosebumps. From that moment I knew I had to change my psychological health.
I have been rejected a couple a months ago from a workplace but I turned that bad talk in my head into a good one with the little help of wristband for anxiety. It helps me a lot against the rumination. Because our mind is a powerful tool but a bad master and needs some help from the outside.
12:44 This is something I have never considered. He's so right that we would never make a physical injury worse. We would protect it and care for it so it can heal. Yet, we don't do that with emotional injuries. We often make them worse with negative thinking. What a revolutionary concept to treat our minds the same way we do our physical body. I only wish we were all taught how to do this. It makes me want to learn more about it.
I have depression. Diagnosed 12 years ago. I still struggle with ruminating every afternoon. I start wanting to separate from my husband. I struggle every day with trying to not tell my husband I want a divorce. I don’t understand why 3-4pm is ruminating time, but it is real. I’ll make an appointment with a psychiatrist tomorrow. Maybe I need a different medicine. Something so simple, and it could save my marriage. I hate depression! It ruins marriages, kills people, causes abuse of children. It Sucks!
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As a child, there was a portrait in our family home in Paris that I always loved. Today, it’s known as Maya with Doll – but to me it was just a portrait of my mother, albeit a remarkable one. “Your grandfather was a painter,” she would say, whenever the subject of the canvas, one of many that hung around the house, came up in discussion. It was only when I began school, and whispers about my heritage started to follow me, that I realised what an understatement that was. My grandfather was far more than a painter. He was the defining figure of 20th-century art – and, as I would learn later from years of academic study, a true genius. It was a revelation that would shape the course of my life in many ways. When Picasso died – in 1973, the year before I was born – he left behind 45,000 works, not to mention personal objects and correspondence.