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Why Do Men Look At Other Women?
I was out at dinner the other night, and I couldn’t help but overhear a group of women talking about “Why do men look at other women?” And by “other” women, they meant why do their boyfriends look at other women.
IMAGINE: You’re with your boyfriend (or husband) in your favorite restaurant, having a great time together. And out of nowhere, an attractive woman walks by your table. You look on as the man you love turns his head, scans her up and down, and his eyes linger just a little too long on her chest, or her backside.
Suddenly there’s a surge of emotion in you… jealousy, anger, pain, insecurity.
A rush of questions runs through your mind:
Does he want her?
Does he think she’s more beautiful than me? More desirable?
Is he attracted to me anymore?
The reality is that ALL men visually appreciate women. (I’ll explain “appreciate” in a bit.) ALL men do this – not just your guy, not just players, and not just cheaters.
EVERY guy looks at women.
In fact, even at the very beginning of your relationship when you thought it was all exclusive romance for each other, he would still occasionally see women that were attractive and glance their way. It’s simply a fact of how men function.
This topic comes up quite a bit in the emails I receive, as well as the conversations I get into with friends. It got so popular at one point that I spend a few days just researching this topic completely in order to explain it to women.
RANT WARNING: This is a topic that comes up VERY frequently for me. It’s one of the biggest points of contention in some relationships.
I also have a lot to say on the topic as I understand BOTH men and women’s point of view about this. So please be aware that I may rant a little bit as I go through the reasons why, as well as explaining why you don’t really have to be worried.
And so, with that, we ask:
Why Do Men Look At Other Women? – And What To Do About It!
Now, I need to start out by explaining a few things about what you DON’T know about why men check out other women. It’s important because you may have some assumptions that are faulty. I want to clear these up first…
WHAT YOU DON’T KNOW #1: Men are not trying to disrespect you…
A common misperception that people hold is that, if someone is doing something that hurts or offends you, they’re purposely disrespecting you.
When it comes to why men look at other women – I want to explain to you that what YOU think is disrespect is actually only your interpretation of his actions.
What I mean is, men almost NEVER intentionally set out to disrespect you. No more than you would intentionally try to be needy or clingy with him, right?
In fact… most people never even consider if what they’re doing is “disrespectful.” It’s simply NOT the first thing that you check in your mind before doing something.
We are all just busy living our lives out – trying to get by, have some fun on the weekend, and not get into trouble along the way. We don’t agonize over whether something we’re about to do is considered “disrespectful.”
People almost NEVER set out to be disrespectful. It’s only seen as disrespectful by the person who feels like they were disrespected.
In the end, we’re all just trying to get our own needs met.
Unfortunately getting our own needs met is everyone’s first priority. We start with our own needs, and then move on to YOURS.
Is it rude for men to look at other women?
Well, if he can’t get control over his scanning behavior while he’s with you, yeah I’d say that it can quickly become rude. He should be able to rein it in a bit.
Let me ask you: Have you ever TOLD him that ...
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Dating Advice Guru
Why do men look at other women?